mustafear

Captain Awesome has been pestering me all morning. A moment ago, he caught me doing the budget. The conversation went as follows:



CA: Yesterday Daddy used some sort of credit card at Kroger.

Me: Oh, did he?

CA: Yes. And he ALSO used it at Party Town to buy that wine!

Me: Really? (at this point I look up and see the serious look on Captain's face and get a clue) Wait a minute, are you are tattling on Daddy?

CA: Yes!  'Cause we aren't supposed to use any credit cards anymore, remember? I just can't believe he did that.




Can you tell that we've been weaning ourselves off credit and paying off debt? Like they say, more is caught than taught. This gives me hope that my children won't make the same mistakes we did.

...but I promise that I'm still alive. Sort of. I've been very, very 'busy' and, though I've been productive, I need to step back from my life to remember what makes everything worth doing. So, I'm off to Mom's where I can work in her garden (on her dime and maybe harvest some plants to bring back  home with me -heehee), lounge in the pool, play with my children, and maybe even finally see Star Trek and Wolverine. Either way, I will turn my cell phone off and avoid my email like the plague. Who knows? Maybe I'll find my center again. It's been far too long since God and I had any extended quiet times that weren't, "Hey, God, please take care of this or that." or "Hey, God, what do have for me to do today?" -it will be nice to go into the garden in the mornings and just say, "Good morning", you know?

Trooper turned 6 years old this past Thursday. It is strange to know that he will be in school all day next year.  I suddenly feel as if the most important 'mommy years' are over at the end of this summer. On one hand, this is exciting. To see my children growing and thriving is amazing and, to be honest, I'm breathing a sigh of relief that they've turned out this well this far. I know that if I died tomorrow, my children will know enough of God that, though they might branch out and 'feel their oats', they will come back and live a life modeled after Jesus (I'm afraid that, here in the West, he term 'Christian' no longer imparts the kind of loving life I want for my children. Too many people accept that label but don't live the life. Heck, I'm nowhere near what I expect I'm being called into. It's a process, I know, but I'm beginning to believe that very few people recognize that it is a conversion process and they just show up on Sunday for their 'fire insurance'. Okay, enough of that, I could continue, but why state the obvious?).

Where was I?

Oh yes, if I died tomorrow, my children would be grieved, but they would know enough to live well - especially considering how very, very much their father loves them.

The gardens are looking better this year, though I confess that I'm afraid the vegetable garden, without a small miracle, will be a complete flop this year. I waited way, way too long to get it started. In fact, the cucumbers still aren't planted! On the other hand, the strawberries are phenomenal this year - though I haven't tasted many. Trooper and his best buddy go out every day and raid the strawberries first thing. Last week, they both came in covered from the nose down in what looked like strawberry jam. Their grins lit up the room, though.

We planted hops for the first time this year. I don't expect much of a harvest until next year, but I'm excited about it. We planted 6 Cascade vines and one Golden.

The maple tree in the backyard now has a nice little bed around it. I even built a wall and mortared it in on one side (the side lining the path to the shed and soon to be coldframe). It is generously plugged with Sweet Woodruff (if you aren't familiar with this vanilla scented delight, I highly recommend it!) and chamomile. I'll have to post 'in progress' pics eventually but don't hold your breath.

My birthday is coming up. I'll be 32 years old and, this year, I feel every bit of it. I'm pleased, though, that I made it this far. Your perspective on birthdays changes dramatically when you're not sure you'll have another. I celebrate very sincerely, I can promise you that! Anyway, for my birthday, I'm bringing home a puppy. Her name is Sachi (child of joy) and she's brown with green eyes. I think Elsie knows. I don't know how she will handle the initial shock, but I think that after a bit she'll enjoy having another dog to boss around. Husband, who hates dogs, is getting a free pass on every Valentine's Day that Sachi is alive. He loves me. :)

Captain Awesome is now playing on U10 soccer and loving it. He is really starting to develope some talent and is fun to watch on the field. He's growing up so fast and it isn't unusual to see him cuddled up with Trooper in a chair reading him a story. He is getting mouthy, but I guess that comes with the territory. We deal with it as it comes. We've taken to playing soccer in the house again, the boys and I. No big kicks allowed, but dribbling encouraged. It's fun and improves their awareness of where the ball is in relation to them.

School is going well enough for me. I will be glad for the break, though. One more class for Spring. Two week break and then straight into Summer. Yee haw.

Okay, I'm exhausted now and I'm still not sure what led to typing out a massive life update like this but I miss you all and lurk on LJ and FB. Now, I'm off to shower and finish packing for tomorrow's trip to AL. Goodnight, sweet friends!

Heaven help me, I'm going to read a SW book and I'm excited about it. I thought I'd never see the day again. I just can't pass Allston up! Besides, callmelydia  got a copy autographed for me "to Z". Plus, I haven't heard anything bad yet and all the spoilers give me a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Must. Wait. Til AFTER my final! Must. Wait.

I can't even begin to explain the relief I feel now that this first quarter of school is almost over! I knew it would be hard to integrate it into my family's life but I had no clue exactly how hard! I've had little desire to sit in front of a computer screen (unless it is brainless mafia wars) and spent the better part of the last 7 weeks doubting my abilities as a mother, wife, cook, mentor, writer, speaker, and scholar. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, though, and I'm hopeful. You guys, however, have no idea what's going on in Z-land! I shall attempt to make amends.

Captain Awesome:

He is eight going on eighteen. If I had to use one word to describe him lately, it would be "mouthy". He will not shut up. And it isn't even talk that makes you say, "My, what an intelligent and well mannered child" - it makes you think, "What a puffed up know it all. If I ignore him, will he go away?".  I know it's awful of me to say of my own son, but I am seriously considering investing in earplugs while he's home.

On the plus side, that is his only vice. Sure, he doesn't always hop to obey and is definitely developing a mind of his own but that's just part of growing up and 'feeling his oats'. We had to pull him out of soccer for just a little while (it's expensive around here) but we got him in chess instead. He won his first trophy at a tournament last month and I couldn't be prouder of him! He took both his wins and his losses graciously and had a good time. What more could I ask for? In fact, all my kids did great! (Oh! I took over the Chess Club with another mom when the old coach moved on to the high school with her daughter.)  My K-3 took the first place team trophy and walked away with 3 of the top seven individual trophies, including second and fourth places. My 4-6 took the third place team trophy which was incredible. The competition is a lot stiffer in that grade level. They also took a few personal trophies home.

I am expecting his aforementioned attitude to level out any time now. He doesn't handle change well at first. Everytime I 'change the rules' on him, it takes a while for him to adjust and until he does, life is miserable. He was finally getting used to Sara moving in and relaxing when I started school. Suddenly he was hearing, 'not now, Awesome, I'm studying' waaaay too much for his liking. Some things that happened last night make me think that perhaps we're turning a corner now, though.

Trooper:

Is still incredibly adorable and he understand how to use this weapon to its fullest potential. He sometimes makes the mistake of WHINING, though, and that shatters the 'I'm CUTE!' illusion. He's nearly through Kindergarten and is already looking forward to summer at Nana's by the pool. He is reading now, though slowly. Oh! Right now it is his fondest dream to take karate and kick the bad guys. Hi-YA!

Admiral Bean:

The down economy meant layoffs at work and, while Dean didn't lose him job he has been affected by it. He is now working 6 on (6pm til 6am) and 3 off. It is a brutal rotation but no one is complaining while we have a paycheck coming in. He's pretty excited because I designed an arbor system, gave him the money to build it, and promised to start growing hops. Heck, I'm excited, too.

Me:

Praying about a mission trip down to Guatemala. My heart really seems pulled toward Africa (Mozambique and Dafour) but we all have to start somewhere.



Okay, hafta pick kids up from school. More later!

Disclaimer: I am not as sad as this post will undoubted make me sound. By this, I mean that I have the excuse of being home sick with a sinus infection, double ear infection, and (half the time) a roaring headache. I am on meds now, but they give me some strange sort of vertigo.



I am addicted to Mafia Wars on facebook. It is the dumbest, most inane game I think I have ever played on the internet and I love it. I get to rob people blind. :)



That is all. I really need to get better so I can get up and do stuff. (Though the enforced downtime has been kinda nice in that I'm not worried about going, just getting better.)

Here goes nothing. Tomorrow I am launching a full fledged assault against poor nutrition in our community. With the economy as it is, so very many people are coming to our church for help with food and, I am relieved to say, we can still help (though the Free Store is running out of food). Unfortunately, the things that we provide are not very nutritional because, let's face it, produce spoils quickly and is expensive to ship, therefore it is expensive to purchase.

The grocery bag of food we give out at church costs, on average, $5 (through the discounts we get via the Free Store). Veggies for my family of five cost at least $15 a week. If someone can't even afford the kind of groceries we provide (canned, boxed, frozen), then how can they even hope to eat healthy? They can't. For the same $15 dollars I spend on my own families veggies, I can plant an entire garden (starting from seed) and have enough to feed my neighbors, friends, and then some.

Using this logic and seeing how many friends are getting laid off, I've put together a seminar to teach people how to grow their own food in whatever size yard they have. I hope to start a community of gardeners dedicated to growing healthy veggies responsibly and passionate about giving lots of food away where ever they see a need. If this works, if it 'catches', I'm already talking with local elementary schools about using them as distribution points.

I know it won't solve the problem, but it's a start.

Anywho, that's what I've been up to lately.

(Wish me luck.)

Red and I have been having lots of fun today. I've been putting a powerpoint presentation together for a seminar I'm holding this weekend, signing up for Etsy, and... oh yeah! Screwing around wasting time online.

Life is so good.

I'd forgotten what freedom feels like. Thank GOD for the nice tax return and the new laptop.

It's RED. How awesome is that? It's got other cool features, but mostly it's red.

This is the bestest thing that's happened to me this week. By far.

Oh yeah, I passed my first midterm of the program. I graduated high school in 95 so this was like first test I've taken since then (unless you count pregnancy tests). I got 96 out of 100 so I'm pleased with it, though I'm kicking myself since the 4 points were basic grammatical terms. Way to go, Beta!Z. Not. The second mid-term I bombed. I got distracted and was unable to concentrate enough to study so I just did it. I missed about half of the multiple choice/objective questions. The absolute highest grade I can pull at this point is 84% and that's if I did extremely well on the subjective questions. *shrug* It is remarkable how much I don't care about any of it right now.

My laptop is red. It connects to the interwebz. All is well.

Of course, when I went back and changed a few of the answers that I truly had no way of choosing between (How does one choose between joy and depth, don't they go hand in hand by very definition? No person can truly know joy without pain and pain lends depth to a soul in so many intangible ways. Now I'm just rambling because I'm tired) I got something that seems to fit me just as well as the first one! Go figure.( Read more... )

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Excessive amounts of premature squeeing may lead to blurry vision, nausea, vomiting, and an aversion to big red Zs.

The zine that sue and company put together is finally finished! I should have my copy soon and I can't wait!

Two kids from Youth Group came to help with upstairs. They are here today and we are getting lots done. Expect to actuallky get to the studio today. In light of this, we are taking the computer offline and storing it till the work is done. See you all later. Much later, actually.

Warning for boring informational dump type of update.

 I couldn't find Roper yesterday when I went to pick him up (I was late but after talking to the dude who works the lobby at the McD's we were meeting, he wasn't there for the meeting, either, but much earlier in the day). This worries me because I like the guy. I hope he is okay, where ever he wound up and that God provided him a safe, warm place to sleep. The only thing that eases my mind is that he knows our phone number and that we have work for him here at the house. If he wants to be 'found', he knows how to do it.

I've been having internet issues during the remodel, if you've missed me on AIM. Lose the net at random intervals for a while.

Leah, I've made some progress on the finishing BETA for your frak!fic but I'm not quite done yet. I've had a hard time concentrating on it for some reason, sorry. I'll get there. About half of it is left.

Honored Friend is due to have her baby in four weeks. Where the heck did those other eight months go? I can't believe it is almost time! I also can't believe she was going to try shoveling a foot of snow off her own drive yesterday. *growls* She didn't in the end. I went over and did half before church and half after church... then we went sledding. Have you ever seen a fat lady and a really, really pregnant lady go sledding? That could be an entry all on its own if I tried to describe the hilarity. We had a blast with the kids, though.

On the subject of Baby coming, the deadline for finishing the upstairs remodel has been creeping up for a long time. Now it is pounding on the door and I'm beginning to get stressed. I need our bedroom moved back upstairs before April 1st. That is when I start the new job with the blog and when I am suddenly on call for Honored Friend for baby stuff. I won't have time to finish it up there after that! *breathes* Must remain calm. Must mud the walls. 

Actually, Dean and Roper made so much progress last week together! Roper was teaching Dean how to do the framing and hang and level the door and so, so much more. *worries again* My father is coming this weekend and Dean traded days off so I'm hoping they will finish framing in the closets and get the cabinetry installed in the studio. If that much gets done, then Dean and I can do the mudding, texturing, painting, and finish work. We are having the carpet installed. Such fun! lol. At least at the end of this, I will have my coveted workspace (MIne! My precious!) and Dean will have his bedroom upstairs, insulated against noise, with one tiny window that is easy to cover. In short, he will have his sleeping cave. With two closets, of course. 

Speaking of Dad coming... that means Mom is coming and that means I have a lot to do. I've got to find somewhere to board Ginnie while Mom is here because of her allergy/asthma combo. Then I must clean like a monkey. Honored Friend is allowing me to borrow her steam cleaner, just to be sure. We don't want ER visits this weekend. 

The sad part is that I've slowly begun to enjoy cleaning as a pasttime and therepeutic distraction. I also drive a mini-van. My kids play soccer..... I sound so...... normal. Part of me rebels against this, but only the part deep down inside that thought I would live in Africa by this point in my life-- flying bush planes and running an orphanage. Maybe there is still time for that when the kids go to college? We'll have to see. For now, it's one day at a time for me. Actually, it's one chore at a time. Now where did I put that dust rag?

 EDIT: I went to hit 'POST' and the internet went out on me again.

We woke up to ten inches of snow here in northern Kentucky with impressive drifts here and there on the property. It is far from over, too. As I type, I am watching the snow continue to swirl along the house, peek in the window, and then turn away to find a softer place to land. For much of the night the snow was tiny, unimpressive specks of white. I am very excited that this larger, prettier snow is now here --if only for the last few hours. It is the kind of day that begs to hear the kettle singing on a regular basis.

The kids and I just came in from playing in the yard. There is just something incredibly wholesome about defiling virgin snow.  Our front lawn was a huge white expanse without even an errant paw print. Now it is filled with forts and prints and dozens of snow angels. 

At one point, Trooper fell down in the snow and cried out in an anguished voice, "Luke!" and began to dig ala Han Solo. Before we came in I think he reinacted most of the 'Luke on Hoth' scenes from Empire Strikes Back (though he needed my help with the "Ben" and "Wampa" scenes --I held him up by his ankles while he struggled to call his lightsaber to him). Weird kid. Who in the world did he get that level of geekiness from?
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Oh yeah. Don't answer that.

I was offered a position to write a mommy-centric blog on a lesser known site today. It pays modestly per post and they are instituting a traffic-bonus incentive in the very near future. I am... stoked, actually. I've never really been paid to write before and I think I'll do well with the topic. That's all half this blog is anyway, right? I'm also fairly nervous about it but I think that just goes with the territory when you put something of yourself out for public 'review' or lack thereof. Anyway, as a result of accepting that position--

This journal will be converted to a FRIENDS ONLY place in the near future.

If you've been reading incognito for a while and want to continue, you'll have sign up for an acct and do the whole 'friend list' thing. I'm not trying to be a snob or a punk, I just wish to maintain a place online where I don't have to worry so much what I'm saying and who I am saying it to.  In short, LJ is my 'safe' place and I wish to keep it that way.

In other news, Dean and Roper started framing in the attic bedroom today while I was at the doc's. I can see the plans we laid starting to take shape and it is very exciting. The attic will soon be a fully enclosed bedroom for Beloved Husband and I on one side while the other half will be an open studio-esque place for yours truly. I will have a comfy couch, a trusty desk, lots of storage for supplies so that the MOM-IN-ME doesn't ground the creative muse for a messy room. I will even have a place to store the sewing machine when I'm painting. And a custom cabinet for my canvases and bristol boards. And, and, and.... It's gonna be KEWL. Beloved Husband frustrates the snot out of me when he loads the dishwasher but he spoils me rotten when it comes to stuff like this! I am lurved.

In other, other news... I just got finished taking antibiotics for Strep about a week ago and I have it. AGAIN. Well, sort of. I have a different strain this time. Either way, I was so frustrated that I asked for the shot-- despite my needle phobia. They made me take it in the butt, too. I begged to get it in the thigh... after all, my thunder thighs have to be good for something but they wouldn't do it. Now my arse hurts.

Um, while I'm writing.... If I get a paid acct (aka, when my first paycheck comes in), can I request pretty layout/icons from JL and Fatty? Pretty please? 

 Congratulations to BigFatty! 

You won the 2008 Dare Challenge with the craziest story I've ever seen. Way to go!

Read the very crazy, mixed up, insane story here.  comments r luv

The toilet troubles are over. Huzzah! The Luckiest of Husbands called our neighbor last night. He graciously came and got it unclogged. What a relief! After it was all said and done, dinner was long past due so the kids and I ran up the road to the local burger joint (yeah, I know, it's bad for us) and got something 'to go'. That's when I heard the "KerCLUNK" in my engine.

Dean just needs to COME HOME. I am just getting a good dose of how much he does around here in the way of 'manly chores' that I hate having to bother with. I should do something nice for him when he gets back tonight. In the meantime, I need to call the mechanic and pray it isn't anything expensive.

In other, better (but no less stressful), news I've applied for my first paid blogging position. Wish me luck!

I realize that someday I will probably laugh about this and maybe even write something humorous so that other people can laugh, too. For now I just wish I could get the toilet unclogged. I don't relish the idea of learning to 'snake a drain' by myself while The Luckiest of Husbands is on a business trip to Atlanta, GA.
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I want a big, nice room with room service and a per diem to eat out every night for a week. Please?

Overhead today:

"Watch out, [Trooper]! Mommy just cleaned the window with a dangerous criminal and you shouldn't touch it."


I've always thought that Windex was a bit shady.....